John Guldaman – Finis

A decade ago, John Guldaman’s brother, Jerome, leaped to his death from the top of the parking garage (five stories, I believe), at Fourteenth and Tremont Streets. The view from John’s sixth story workspace at the time–303 W. Colfax–was, yes, the parking garage at Fourteenth and Tremont.

The inevitability that John would follow his brother’s lead and take that same determinable leap to his death a decade later (this past Friday evening), was something that, if any of us had thought much about it, was likely. We, his workmates, came to know John as one traveling through life on a psychical plane quite different, quite strange, quite unsuited for the particular drudgery our little work family slogged through day after day.

And, now that I think about it, John’s twenty-year incumbency with the City and County of Denver constituted, most-likely, the sum-total of structured stability in his life. His job required what all jobs require: commitment to fulfilling the requisites of the said job for which, in return, a paycheck is exchanged. Yes, once he lost that job (caught imbibing during the workday and, consequently, refusing to accept a path to sobriety offered by the city–another structured program), all bets were off or on? as to where John’s future would lead and, of course, end.

The blog John created upon his dismissal from the city is here. This blog–if you’ve got the time and interest–details the opulent self-destruction, the self-torture, the road to ruin, as they say, for John Guldaman. My characterization of John–an attempt to communicate to him that his life did, indeed, have worth and that others were concerned with the destructive path he had chosen to take–is here. Then, of course, finally, the emotionally tinged entries I made when it was likely and certain that John had chosen to end his life.

This, then, ends my entries on John Guldaman.

Finis

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13 Responses to John Guldaman – Finis

  1. Jon O says:

    All,

    John and I used to have adjacent offices at CCD. We used to exchange vast amounts of esoteric trivia from quotes ranging from Marcus Aurelius to Dean Martin. John had majored in Latin and played football at CU as a walk-on for a short period of time. If that doesn’t set the stage, nothing will.

    Just finished reading George’s blog pages and John’s also. As we think upon what has occurred it always brings to mind survivor guilt. Is there something we could have done?

    The answer is always yes, but in John’s case, and after knowing him and reading his blogs the answer most assuredly no. John could not change the course of his action, there was just too much to confront and too little comfort to be afforded to his life.

    He simply saw and knew too much.

    Endgame.

    I appreciate your letting us know about John. Sometimes in the worst misfortune, little clues are given about our own happiness and survival.

  2. Karen Eicher says:

    I’m devastated. I’ve dealt with John for over 12 years. He was the most pleasant, good humored gentleman. I handed over the DCC accounts to others and lost track of John.

    May he be in peace now.

  3. georgeindenver says:

    Jon O, I find there is survivor anger rather than guilt. I did what I could. Would that the Glendale Police Department–more than a week before John’s ultimate choice–had taken my warnings and concern a wee bit more seriously. But, then, John could probably have only been detained by the “authorities” for 72 hours…legally.

    But, there is anger that JG could find no other option. My anger will pass. JG’s demise will not.

    Karen, thank you for your comment. Many, many knew John only as a pleasant, good-humored gentleman. And, indeed, may he be in peace now.

  4. Mike S says:

    I knew John is high school and at CU. He was the kicker on the football team at George. It was great fun to see that massive guy with the enormous feet crush the football on kickoffs.

    And he was quite the character in Boulder, gaining notoriety for his one-man fraternity, Delta Mu Sigma (aka Dean Martin Society). The Colorado Daily ran a story about members of the Lesbian Caucus breaking into the projection room during his frat-sponsored showing of Deep Throat and stole the film.

    As tough as it is to hear about his troubles and death, it is good to know that he had friends who cared about him so much.

  5. georgeindenver says:

    Thanks for your comment, Mike. I think John’s high school and college experiences were pretty close to the best of times of his life on this earth. He spoke of them often.

  6. Brian Wall says:

    I knew John from his friend and roommate Tom Bourie. John was drinking heavily and suffered enormous gambling losses near the end of his life.
    He had squandered most of his fortune. May he find peace now.

    Brian Wall

  7. georgeindenver says:

    Thanks, Brian. Curiously, John chronicled the whole sordid mess at http://anonymousbuyer.blogspot.com/

  8. lori says:

    Hello, I just found out about John’s death last night. John and jerome were my 1st cousin. Their mom and my dad were brother and sister. It is so sad how they both left this world. I will pray for my aunt Mary ann and my cousin grace to get thur this diffcult time. God bless everyone..lori

  9. georgeindenver says:

    Lori, please know that the thoughts and prayers of so many have followed John to his ultimate destination. He had so many friends who cared. Those thoughts and prayers go out to his extended family, as well.

    George

  10. lori says:

    lori
    thanks for expressing your feelings i loved my two brothers but that wasnt enough to save what god had in for them.\
    i had 49 yrs with john but i needed more time.
    grace

  11. grace valdez says:

    thanks for remembering my brother

  12. yolanda says:

    Thanks for thoughts on my uncle. He will always live on in our hearts. I know he will in mine : ( Always and Forever!!

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